Fake it? To make it?


Below are a few of my quotes that I found interesting while reading “Understanding orgasm” online at apa.org. You can read the entire article here:  http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/04/orgasm.aspx

“Most women at one time or another have faked it,”
– Katz’s Deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally” when Sally (Meg Ryan) 

Guilty! But why the hell do we do it? Most likely it’s the typical male ego response much like the one Sally (above) received.

“Well, they haven’t faked it with me,”
– Harry (Billy Crystal)

Poor fool!

I’m pretty sure ever walking non-virgin man has experienced a faker, at one point or another. I’d even bet money on it! 😉

“The men also reported they’d be distressed to find out their partners were faking,”
– McKibbin.

Told ya!

“What is surprising: Faking isn’t always bad for your sex life. Depending on a woman’s motivation, pretending to orgasm can actually increase her sexual satisfaction,”
– research by Erin B. Cooper

Right! If nothing else it ends the disappointment sooner, rather than later. Besides it’s not as ‘good’ its better than nothing; we can secretly, get off and faking it and actually pulling it off, well enough to… um, fool him.

Other times, I’ve turned myself on, I faked it so well. Faking gave me the little extra nudge, I needed to tip in my favor! Maybe he subtly stepped it up to ‘seal the deal,’ thinking he was doing it…. Whatever the case, it serves a purpose or we wouldn’t do it!

“Some women may fake it ’til they make it,” says Cooper, who presented her research at APA’s 2010 Annual Convention in San Diego.

Yes, fake it, to make it. That’s what she said… literally! 

“But why reward potential infidelity with orgasms? Our research gives some preliminary evidence supporting the idea that the female orgasm functions to selectively uptake a particular man’s sperm over another” – McKibbin

“Humans probably evolved in societies in which it was common for a woman to sleep with many men over a relatively short period of time.” – Alan S. Dixson, PhD (Oxford University Press, 2009 “Sexual Selection and the Origin of Human Mating Systems” )

While there’s solid evidence for sperm competition, there’s less grounding for the theory that women’s orgasms have anything to do with fertilization. – Elisabeth Lloyd, PhD

The current evidence, she says, suggests the female orgasm is simply a byproduct of the male orgasm. – Elisabeth Lloyd, PhD

“The female orgasm is like the male nipple. It has a clear function in one sex, but not in the other,” – Elisabeth Lloyd, PhD

The male orgasm positively reinforces ejaculation and therefore encourages males to propagate the species, Lloyd says.

Women get a parallel ability as a “fantastic bonus” because their tissues and nerves are laid down at the same time during fetal development.

I think that they serve as something… I’m calling Lloyd out on this one… Even its just serves as pure joy or entertainment that will lead to the female allowing the sex to happen!

Though scientists have yet to make a direct link between orgasms and fertility, there’s a growing body of research pointing in that direction. –  Barry Komisaruk, PhD

Researchers found fewer sperm in the post-coital “flowback” of women who had orgasms versus those who didn’t…

Another research team, found through a series of studies that uterine contractions are the primary method of sperm transportation.

Pair that with research showing that uterine contractions intensify during the oxytocin release triggered by orgasm, and you have compelling evidence that the female orgasm, while certainly not necessary, can play a role in fertilization, says Komisaruk.

One possibility: Orgasms may allow women to make a subconscious last-minute call about whether they want to be fertilized by a particular partner. – researchers at the University of New Mexico, published in Animal Behavior (Vol. 50, No. 6).

So these women are, perhaps, having orgasms to increase the chances of getting fertilized by genetically robust males. – Randy Thornhill, PhD.

The finding lends support to the idea that women could fake orgasms to reassure or trick their partners about paternity, adds McKibbin. It could also serve to reassure partners that they are, genetically speaking, high-quality males. That certainly jibes with his study, which found that men care more about their partners’ climaxing if they haven’t been together recently.

“It’s almost like an arms race, with women maybe evolving the orgasm to select high-quality sperm, men counter-evolving an interest in orgasms to help ensure paternity, and women perhaps evolving the tendency to fake, obscuring paternity,” he says.

As with women, orgasm may give female fish the ability to make a last-minute call about their partners’ genetic quality. That faking might serve the purpose of allowing female trout to save their eggs for higher-quality males, a theory supported by the observation that female trout were more likely to fake orgasms when better-looking, more dominant fish lurked nearby. – study published in Animal Behaviour (Vol. 61, No. 2)

More often, however, the females faked it when the males were not in the exact right position, says study author Erik Petersson, PhD, a biology professor at Uppsala University.

I’m guilty of this… close but not close enough buddy. Once I loose it – its gone… he knew it was building but the sun and stars didn’t align properly. What else is there to do?!

The most common reason women fake is “altruistic deceit” — or sparing their partner’s feelings. – Cooper’s survey of 1,500 women.

She also found that while altruistic fakers miss the opportunity to tell their partners what would make them climax, such faking doesn’t seem to affect their sexual satisfaction.

“I think of it as a relationship maintenance strategy,” she says, adding that women may fake orgasm to avoid difficult or uncomfortable discussions with their partners.

Some women, may be able to actually increase their sexual satisfaction by faking orgasm. These women fake for their own enjoyment, and report heightened levels of arousal as a result. – Cooper

This finding supports the idea that there’s a cultural script at play, where women and their partners expect them to orgasm without external clitoral stimulation. When expectations and reality don’t line up, people fake it — men and women, Muehlenhard says.

“When men pretended orgasm, it was often because they saw no other way for sex to end,” she says.

Hey women too! See above.

About Me

Mom of 3, Sorta Wifey, Daughter, Mommy's Girl, Aspie Read more: https://omgwtflol19.wordpress.com/about/

Posted on August 21, 2013, in Relationship & Sex, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. As a male I would be disappointed if I thought that my partner had faked orgasm,and yes ego is part of the reason but mainly I would be disappointed because I always want my partner to experience the intense pleasure that comes with climax,if I thought that i wasn’t doing enough to “seal the deal” as you put it I would actually rather that she was honest with me and masturbated to achieve the satisfaction that she deserves,I do understand the point about not wanting to hurt someones feelings and avoid uncomfortable discussions but my focus in love making is always my partners satisfaction so yeah the thought that she might fake it makes me rather sad.
    Thanks for your blog ,I’m finding it very interesting and thought provoking.
    Paul C

    • Hey Paul thanks for stopping by and leaving feedback. It’s nice getting a perspective view from others!

      I can’t speak for all women but the “O” is just the desert. Yes I crave the sweets but I don’t have them every time I eat. They taste better in moderation. As long as the sex was enjoyable and I get the exposing every few times.. it’s fine with me!

      Never, ever, do I want to masturbate because I didn’t explode. Either it happens with him or it don’t. No biggy! 🙂 Remember we fight to be equal but we are very much different. The actual act of sex is just the a small part of the big picture for us, in regards to sex! Sex for us starts outside the bedroom, way before the clothing hits the floor. 😉

  2. Hi,Thanks for your kind comments,I totally understand the points you are making,I agree,making love should be much more than the sex act.Cheers. 🙂

  3. men also fake it sometimes 😉


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