Category Archives: Me

Hiccup, Bless You, Thanks.

Life full speed as an untreated Aspie is chaos at its best. I can be very A.D.D. like: I’m here, I’m there, catch me, catch me, if you please.

Fart. Burp. Sneeze.

Next.

Its simi-thought-out and serves a purpose. I may not always be able to tell you how it’s useful but to me it’s all useful if I cared enough to master or tackle the sparkly things that catch my eye.

My man friend or somewhat partner in crime likes to joke with me about sex or lack of sex once a month. He heard a joke from one of the Blue Collar Comedy men that included a bit about not closing the entire amusement park because one ride is not functioning and he stands outside the gate saying well the log ride works… So yeah he took the line and every month he asks, sort of jokingly, if the log ride is open. Well this month I took him for a ride. Not the ride he was expecting but I let him know that the part was not closed.

open

That’s right. I’m not broken. No maintenance was being performed. My ride was functioning perfectly fine, thank you.

WHAT! He exclaimed wondering why I had not started my period yet. I could hear the squirmy fear in his voice like, oh fuck are you pregnant?! Ahahaha on a side note: it’s fucking funny watching a guy squirm with that thought. Like they cared when they busted and it’s not like they are going to have anywhere near the consistences from it as, ahem , SHE would! Reason 4,286,978 why men suck! Joking, well… sort of.

Well I was on my period but a period is just part of everyday life for us. One week out of every fucking month we deal with it. Learning that I’m an Aspie, for lack of better term, has explained many why’s for me. One of those is why I have so many sensory issues. Like touch and taste which play a HUGE HUGE HUGE role in sex.

Well dear, I do not like the texture or taste that you cock leaves in my mouth. It also leaves my mouth and lips feeling itchy and somewhat hurts for lack of other words to explain. No offense to you. All cocks are yucky to me.

* I assume he will scratch his head and wonder why I have willingly done this in the past.*

Yes dear, just like every other thing I do… it was a process that involved me hyper focusing, researching, and really getting into my obsessive topic. I’m sorry you were just a temporary obsession…. Like every other topic, I got board and my true non-excited feelings flooded the fun and it became problematic once again.

You see I’m only in the mood to taste and feel your cock with my mouth when

I’M IN THE MOOD. It takes a lot and it’s pretty much rare like when the sun, moon, and stars line up, just so. It’s one of those take it or leave it things. So if I go down there, just be happy and enjoy while it lasts! Feeling forced or pressured makes me turned off – in other sexual ways. So that wouldn’t be wise. It would be one of those things I’d shut down for, you’d get once and never again, and wonder where I went and where the hell I took all the sex, ya know! đŸ˜‰

So back on topic. Periods are not an out of order sign. I like to get off too. I’m okay with you not wanting to have sex when I’m on my period but to suggest I please you because I’m yucky is rather yucky too. It makes me feel like I need to watch my back and guard my heart. I feel like if I do it I’ll end up shutdown and both of us unhappy in the long run. Or I don’t… Then you stray off.

I’m sure its probably my past variances biting me in the ass for being on the spectrum and trusting people I should not have trusted. But to me it has to be complex and much deeper and better thought out for all the outcomes.

I don’t want him to not tell me things but to understand I’m all about pleasing him, when I can. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable, pleasing me. Which is a big thought for me that is not a natural human feeling it has been self tough and always takes me some self reminding to consistently keep. So I expect this in return, exotically since I’m aware this is a totally natural born with human trait he was born with. If I can do it then so can he! đŸ™‚

So I can’t suck your cock today I can have sex with you. But you think its yucky!

I teased him after he said it was gross and questioned (jokingly) how the fuck he could be a man, play in mud, get all dirty and yucky and a little period could gross him out so much!

So he went to work and asked his friend. The following day he asked me if the log ride is open. Nope its not but the rest of the park is, I said. He looked sad and said he asked his friend at work about that.

And I give a fuck about your friend why? I’m not fucking him! đŸ˜›

He told me his friend said he would consider it if he was horny BUT probabl

y not in the bed or anything. He said for sure in the shower. My guy said he agreed but his woman wouldn’t do it in the shower, she (meaning me) only likes get in wash and get out.

OK this makes me laugh my ass off. So yeah its sort of true. I do get in, wash, and get out. Don’t we all?

I don’t know what thing… but its a thing. Its sameness an order, something about its not in the rules to do that, mixed with sensory issues. Sex in the shower is distracting in a bad way. My face gets wet and water in my eyes will bother me. I do not normally complain about these. I’m a grown up and it’s whining at my age to even say them… BUT at the same time I dislike them so much I avoid them at  all cost. I my showers and being wet need to be controlled or I’m physically unhappy and causing me to be mentally unhappy. How can I be sexually happy when so much unhappy is going on in the shower!?! It’s funny and pathetic but it is what it is!

Oh and my new hyper focus obsession, for now anyway, is RH negative blood type. Amazing!

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I BELIEVE HUMANITY EVOLVED WITHOUT A GOD

I believe humanity evolved without a god.

Hate me.

Blogging all wrong

Once upon a time… venting online was an outlet for me. I never reveled who I was or left clues that could lead you to me. I spilled it all. I told the keyboard everything.

I was surprised to have over 1,000 regular followers leaving me feedback, rooting for me, giving me unwanted advice. Those strangers knew everything about me. More than anyone I faced day-to-day.

I never intended to have readers. I assumed I was boring and nothing entertaining could come about my day. I was so wrong! Lots of people found my drama filled day-to-day life and ranting’s helpful and entertaining.

I’m leaning more towards train wreak – you just can help but watch! But that’s how I roll. (Really though, train-wreak!) Shit was better than any soap opera you could watch on TV. Best of all, it was the flat out truth. My life fucking sucked fucking smelly donkey cock!

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